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To Be Instead of To Do

By Trish Berg

Each day, when I wake up, my brain starts fresh with everything I must get done. My daily to-do list. And that's when the stress kicks in, even before I have supped my morning coffee.

There just never seems to be enough time in every 24 hour period to get everything done on my to-do-list.

To be a parent, is to be the responsible, mature one, right? To get everything done that we need to get done, each and every day of the week. Right?

As moms, we tend to take life way too seriously sometimes. We let our to-do list become so ingrained in our heads that we forget our to-be list in our hearts.

Mommy-to-do-list: Ten loads of laundry (check); scrub that crusted on baking dish from last night's supper (check); vacuum the cracker crumbs from the sweeper (check); make supper (check); clean house (check); pay bills (yikes!); and oh yea, don't forget to shower and get dressed (check and check).

Mommy-to-be-list: Loving (how do I do that?); joyful (even with piles of dirty laundry on every floor of the house?); peaceful (with the kids fighting?); patient (yeah, right!); kind (towards whom? I'm the one with the all the stuff to do!); goodness (); faithful (when am I supposed to squeeze that devotional time in, anyway?); gentle (So I shouldn't yell at the top of my lungs or stomp up the stairs when I get angry?); and full of self-control (Well, I do wear control top underpants, does that count?). (Galatians 5:22-23a)

To-do should become to-be. And as we look at how we should be, we can easily put our to-do-list in perspective. As a mother of four growing children, all of whom have now graduated form the preschool years, let me assure you that these years will go by very quickly. And time lost with your children can never be re-gained.

There's a line in the 1991 movie Hook, starring Robin Williams. Robin plays the part of a grown up Peter Pan in this version of the classic fairy tale. He is married and has two children. He and his family have traveled to England to visit Granny Wendy, who raised him. He has turned into a workaholic businessman, and has no time for the frivolous play his kids so desperately desire from him.

After one of his business deals goes sour, he yells at the kids to get out of the room. That's when his wife, Moira, turns to him and says, "Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lastsÉ We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention.

It's so fast Peter. Just a few years, and it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it."

I realize that we can't live in Neverland all the time, we can't be child-like twenty-four house a day. We have grown up, and we have responsibilities. But if we don't take the time to be child-like and have fun with our children, we will miss it.

We will miss out on one of the greatest treasures there is. A treasure even a pirate like Hook can't steal: time spent having fun with our children.

Having fun with your children is crucial to their acceptance of you as their mom. And it is as simple as living in the moment and enjoying your kids.

One warm spring day, it was raining, and muddy, and the kids were bored. So I said, "Hey, get your boots on let's go out and play in the rain."

They looked at me as if I had lost my mind. I assured them it was OK to get wet. There was no lightening and it was plenty warm. So together we all went out and ran in the rain. We jumped in the puddles, got mud from head to toe, and even caught rain drops on our tongues.

When we came in the house, we were all as soaked as if we had jumped in a swimming pool, and we were all smiling so much our cheeks were hurting. That was over three years ago, and the kids still talk about our day in the rain. Having fun with your kids is that important.

So tomorrow, when I wake up, I am going to try and start my day with my to-be list instead of my to-do-list. And 24 hours a day is always enough time to be what God wants me to be.

Enjoy the journey-
Trish
(Psalm 118:24)

Trish would love to hear from you at www.trishberg.com, or e-mail trishberg @ trishberg.com.

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© Trish Berg, 2006-
Trish Berg is author to The Great American Supper Swap, and Rattled - Surviving Your Baby's First Year without Losing Your Cool! She has been a guest ABC World News Tonight, Midday Connection, and The Harvest Show.
She is an internationally known speaker for ministries such as MOPS, Hearts at Home, and in Australia on Parenting Seminars Online. She has written for Today's Christian Woman, MOMSense, CBN.com and P31 WOMAN.
For more information, check out www.TrishBerg.com

Read Trish's Simplifying Motherhood column at C'Moms

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To Be Instead of To Do

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